Since the opening ceremonies began on Friday, I have been watching as much of the Olympics as is possible. If I didn't have to work or eat or sleep or do errands, I'd be watching more. And now that I'm an adult and have control of my own TV and remote, the skies' the limit.

I have always loved watching the Olympics. I think it's because you get the chance to watch people compete in sports you rarely, if ever, see in mainstream athletics. And you know those swimmers, runners, gymnasts, and divers could kick the crap out of the professional athletes we Americans are so proud of. I just really appreciate seeing athletes perform outside of the super-commercialized realm of whiners and losers we try to pawn-off on our kids as heroes.

And when is the last time any of us watched a good round of fencing!? Not only can those girls poke your eye out before you've even realized what's happened, they could also clean-up in a spelling bee. (They attend colleges like Duke and Yale.)

I have been craving Coca-Cola the past few days. Hmmm. Odd. And McDonald's, even more odd. A golden chicken sandwich sounds so good right now. With a coke, of course.

I usually root for Team USA, but don't really have a particular reason for doing so. There is something great about seeing someone from a less privileged country beat the pants off on American kid, though.

While I was watching Michael Phelps swim his way to another win in the big fancy pool, it dawned on me that for the past four days I have been sitting in front of the TV watching hours of footage of people with spectacular bodies twisting and contorting and jumping and running in basically nothing but their underwear. Is that what spawns my fascination with the Olympic games? Am I subconsciously drawn to the hiney of these well sculpted athletes? Do I care if he wins, or do I just want to see Phelps' pants come off during his victory celebration?

We may as well go back to days of yore when athletes performed naked. They pretty much are naked anyway, so why not eliminate the clothing altogether. What's more aerodynamic than the skin God gave us!?! (those camera close-ups only make matters more intimate)

It's also been excellent having the usual commercial times cut short. So as not to interrupt potential pivotal moments in Olympic history, NBC is showing hardly any commercials. It's fantastic!

I've been appreciating Google's participation, too. They've been changing their homepage image every day. Thank you Google. Thank you for somehow incorporating a pig dancing with a ribbon into your trademark rainbow-lettered image.

Most people I've talked to don't care about the Olympics. They're probably the same people who don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day.